After the honeymoon phase in a new relationship or after several years in a great relationship, many couples want to do something to spice up their sex life.
Everything else can be wonderful – the friendship, the companionship, the communication – but the magic seems to be gone in the bedroom.
One way to stimulate that excitement is through dominant and submissive role play. It really adds spice to the relationship, much like taking a vacation to a new place can be just what you need to bring new energy and enthusiasm into your daily life.
The reason dominant and submissive role play works so well is because it enables partners to take on different roles from what they have in everyday life or exaggerate ones that they already enjoy.
For example, a man who gives orders in a factory or does routine calculations as an accountant at work might like the excitement of participating in a fantasy scene where he can dress up as a baby or take everything and play at being a friendly pet. Or perhaps he might like to simply relax and have things done to him as he is handcuffed to a bed, knowing whenever the session ends, he will be released. A woman who has a boring job as a sales clerk or as a secretary with a bullying boss might like playing the role of a dominatrix or mistress, who relishes giving orders and punishing those who disobey them. Alternatively, a woman who likes being a boss in a corporate office might like to be an even bigger boss with a man who enjoys role-playing as her slave.
Such play can be very erotic, and with the right guidance, both those in the dominant and submissive roles can become more comfortable playing together and more skilled at knowing what to do, much like an actor can benefit from having a great teacher.
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Want to learn more? Charlayne E. Grenci, Ph.D., aka Mistress Carla can be your teacher. She provides instruction in the dynamics and activities for BDSM fantasy play. Among her popular topics are: how to dress the role; the proper protocol or code of rules; dealing with the dangers and risks, including the use of safewords, and the illegal practices to avoid; acceptable and non-acceptable behavior and more.
Dr. Grenci has been a professional and lifestyle dominant and human sexuality educator and sex coach for over 30 years.