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About Intimate and/or Sexual Relationships – Part 3
Are Your Ready To Get Serious Here?
I was pleased to receive your responses. Everyone’s comments in Part 2 were right because those were the main principles we were taught to abide by to maintain the best relationship(s) possible. To remember the conclusion of Part 2, we agreed that: Trust, respect, honesty, communication and fidelity are the main principles for most romantic or sexual relationships. I asked: “Do you think these basic principles are enough to ensure most intimate or sexual couples of a harmonious, fun-loving, romantic, successful, lengthy relationship?” The answer is flat out – NO!
Before I continue with an explanation, I will tell you briefly about myself, because an insight to my thinking and philosophy is necessary for you to understand how and why I come to the conclusions I do. That, in and of itself, still might not be enough for you to follow my train of thought, and that’s okay. I don’t expect all of you to do so, for the simple reason we all come from different places in life at the present time, different lifestyles, different cultures, different belief systems/traditions, different educational backgrounds, different family values, different morals and different experiences, etc. That’s what makes the world go round! That’s all a beautiful thing! The conflict I foresee is this: because every one of us is basically so different, it may be impossible for you “to see through my eyes”, to understand how and why I arrive at my conclusions?
About Myself
As you might know or bear in mind, I am far from being traditional or conservative on most levels and I think way “outside the box”, I always have. When I was 10 years old, I questioned religion. I asked my mother why do they tell me the same stories every week in Sunday School? Many physicians (after office hours), professors and mainstream people since the age of 12 years old, have kept me aside to “pick my brain”, as it’s called. It has been a common occurrence for me to hear this. Naturally, I have always willingly obliged, but I am able to learn as much from others, maybe more, than they learn from me. These interviews or discussions, as they were, taught me to be a good listener, which is most important, as well as a guest speaker and mentor. As the years flew by, the profound influence of frequent intimate, conversational interaction with amazing people, influenced me to be an educator/professor myself and thereby I discovered one of my most revered passions! Writing has become as much of a passion. So you’re saying if you have read thus far, “come on now, Dr. Grenci, spit it out! Get on with it.” And my answer to that would be: “Slow down, take a deep breath. Be patient. Subjects of this magnitude (About Intimate and/or Sexual Relationships) cannot be rushed through! The topic I chose must be thought out decisively, discussed and reasoned with. That one of the issues with relationships: we have just identified one of the major issues with relationships, so number one is:
STOP, LOOK & LISTEN:
Slow down, take a deep breath, listen/hear & be patient = most people are rushing through life with personal troubles, deadlines, medical concerns, family anxiety, job pressures, financial problems/stress and, and, and. We don’t take enough (or any) necessary time needed to communicate ‘thoroughly and respectfully’, to hear and understand what our partner is saying/sharing, or to take them seriously. Therefore we are often – not on the same page. You may think you have listened and communicated because you have talked and aired your feelings, but in reality, if it was not done properly. You could have caused more harm than good. In addition – yes, a relationship IS a lot of work! If you think not, you’re wasting your time and his/hers. What do you think about that? Your comment always welcome.
(to be continued, Part 4)
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