Play parties are growing in popularity – whether you go to a club that features play parties, go to one at a friend’s house, or create your own play party event. But if you want to be successful and have a great experience, you have to follow certain rules, such as we have at the Dungeon Club in Florida.
These rules are designed to create a supportive, comfortable environment and protect participants from the potential dangers that occur when fantasy play becomes too intense and goes beyond the safe limits that participants set before engaging in play. Rules are also designed to protect the role play of participants from intrusions by others which would break the fantasy.
Some of the key dos and don’ts to follow in a public or private venue when there are two or more partners participating:
- Dress up in costume or feel free to take whatever you want off, within your own comfort level. In some clubs genitalia must be covered.
- Respect the boundaries of others who are engaging in fantasy role play. For example, unless a couple engaging in a role play have given a clear sign that they want others to join them, such as by looking around and waving at people to join them, don’t go up to the partners and invite yourself in. You will only disrupt the scene and may make the participants very angry because you have done so.
- Use safe words with your partner or partners, which are words that people in the scene wouldn’t normally say, and understand that if someone uses a safe word they are feeling threatened by the activities or intensity of the scene, so their partner(s) should pull back or stop until they feel comfortable going on again.
- Don’t be judgmental. Even if someone makes a suggestion to participate in a certain type of scene which you don’t like, don’t treat them as being in the wrong for suggesting it. Recognize that everyone has certain things they like and don’t like, much like people like different sex positions, and if you don’t like the idea or don’t want to do something, simply decline politely and suggest or go on to participate in scenes you do like.
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Want to learn more? Charlayne E. Grenci, Ph.D., aka Mistress Carla can be your teacher. She provides instruction in the dynamics and activities for BDSM fantasy play.
Among her popular topics are: how to dress the role; the proper protocol or code of rules; dealing with the dangers and risks, including the use of safewords, and the illegal practices to avoid; acceptable and non-acceptable behavior and more.
Dr. Grenci has been practicing dominant and a sexual educator and counselor for over 30 years.